Sonic Smasher Burger Review - December 27th, 2024

I didn't even order this thing on purpose, bro.

Update (2/22/2025)

It has been two months since I wrote this article and two months since I ate that dreaded burger after that visit to the arcade. And just so you know, I still meant every word I said.

And with this new update, I am even angrier. I was watching some frasier on Pluto TV with my brother. As it is a free service we use due to not having cable of course we see some ads here and there. But this one. Oh, this. One.

There was another commercial for that utter abomination for that sandwhich. This one announcing that they made a new addition to the sandwhich: Bacon.

It wasn't enough that there was two much cheese and the meat was chopped like... that. But they added bacon? An addition that makes the average fast food burger even unhealthier. I was, as the kids say, tweaking.

Imagine this; you and your best friend were out after a while of not seeing each other. I asked, hey, why not get us some dinner? We were both hungry and figured it would be nice to grab a bite together. We both liked sonic, so that was our place of choice.

I ordered a #1, thinking it was their good ol' sonic single cheeseburger. Unfortunately, I couldn't be more mistaken. Apparently, it was that sonic burger I've been seeing in those obnoxious commercials for months. The Sonic Smasher, your "new" favorite burger... yadda yadda.

Two nasty ass ground beef patties. That shit BLEW. I HATED IT. The onions were like squircles on a phone. There were too many pickles. Gratuitous cheese. And it's called a smasher because they must've smashed those patties with a mallet. Not even quarter pound patties, I'm guessing!

I initially wrote this two weeks ago, because I was utterly offended by the taste of the Sonic Smasher. I went back and finished this because I still am offended. I hate the sonic smasher and need to air this out. Thanks for reading, Byte out.